Ps 45

The marriage of our dreams - Psalm 45

Joseph Tandy

I don't know where you were on 29 April 2011, the wedding day of Prince William and Kate Middleton, or 1 July 2011, for the wedding of Prince Albert of Monaco and Charlene Wittstock or 18 May 2018, for the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

For many here, the answer is probably in the classroom. I imagine a few were in front of their TV though.

And in case you're tempted to reply "prince and princess weddings ... this is France! We cut off our king's head, what business is it of ours?" I'll simply remind you that Kate and William's wedding was watched by 15 million French people, not far from a quarter of the population, and by 2 billion people worldwide.

Why did this happen? Why did so many people want to follow the weddings of couples they don't even know?

Closer to home, it's summer. It's wedding season. Many of us have been looking forward to friends' weddings. Some have endured months of preparation before finally saying yes to each other! We're delighted.

Even if marriage is less valued in France than it was a few decades ago, the fact remains that, judging by the number of television viewers at royal weddings, or the posters in the metro for wedding fairs, marriage is apparently not dead.

Some people still dream of it. There's still the dream of living happily ever after and having lots of children.

Among Christians, you only have to look at the number of books written on this subject, or the number of people who come to the marriage course at Connexion church, to see that many of us place a lot of hope in the prospect of marriage.

I speak as a married man, but let me ask: why?

Is it because we believe that marriage will bring us happiness that eludes us, or the answer to our loneliness, or that it will help us keep our family happy?

Is it legitimate to have such expectations of marriage?

This summer we are in book 2 of the psalms, and psalm 45, which we are meditating on this morning, follows ... psalms 42, 43 and 44.

What is the theme of psalms 42, 43 and 44?

Let's go back a few pages

Psalm 42 verse 6 - Why are you downcast, O my soul, and groan within me?

Psalm 42 verse 12 - Why are you downcast, O my soul, and why do you groan within me? Psalm 43:5 - Why are you downcast, O my soul, and why do you groan within me?

Psalm 44:24 - Arise! Why do you sleep, O Lord? Wake up, don't put us off for ever! Why do you hide yourself? Why do you forget our misery and oppression?

Psalms 42-44 talk about ... when things aren't going well. Times when we feel discouraged, downcast, sad and alone.

Psalm 45, which follows them, is about ... marriage.

The order of the psalms is not random. God is telling us that the answer to discouragement, sadness and loneliness has something to do with marriage.

Let's be more frank. The answer to discouragement, sadness and loneliness is marriage! That's what book 2 of the psalms suggests.

Marriage is the solution!

But what kind of marriage? That's the question, and that's what we're going to find out this morning.

We'll see that it's not unjustified to have high expectations of marriage ... as long as we understand which marriage is the only one to fulfil these expectations.

We're going to talk about...

a royal wedding an ideal husband a privileged wife

First and foremost A royal marriage

The wedding described in this psalm is a cause for rejoicing, because it is not just any wedding. It is a marriage with enormous stakes for the whole world.

Psalm 45 verse 1

To the choirmaster, to the tune of "The Lilies". Descendants of Korah. Canticle, song of love. Beautiful words bubble up in my heart.

I say, "My work is for the king.

May my tongue be like the pen of a skilful writer!"

If you were at a wedding this summer, I don't know what music the couple chose to mark the occasion.

Perhaps a beautiful piece of classical music for the bride's entrance - Bach, Handel, Mendelssohn, Pachelbel. Perhaps a song of praise.

Then for the dance party, there are the must-haves. Depending on the generation, Claude François, Black Eyed Peas or ... something else if, unlike me, you've been following the evolution of pop music since 2009.

I don't know if you've ever attended a wedding for which a new hit has been specially composed. For William and Kate's wedding, there was music written especially for the occasion.

It's a sign that this isn't just any wedding.

That's the case with this psalm. It is a love song written for the wedding ... of a king!

His name is not mentioned, but there is reason to believe that it was the wedding of King Solomon, the son of King David.

Compared to this wedding, the weddings of the princes and princesses mentioned above were nothing.

Everyone would have been in the streets of Jerusalem to follow the procession, the press would have been talking about it for months, every woman would have drawn a picture of the bride's dress to have the same one.

It was a wedding like no one had ever seen before. Why was it so important?

When you read a passage from the Bible, it's important to try and fit it into the big story of the Bible. The Bible tells a big story. If you forget that, it's a bit like starting a series with episode 15 without having watched the previous episodes. You risk getting lost.

As in any story, there are turning points in the Bible.

One such turning point comes in the book of 2 Samuel, chapter 7, where God makes an extraordinary promise concerning the sons of King David.

Keep a finger in the psalms and let's all look for 2 Samuel 7 Listen to what God promises in verse 12. He says to David:

"When your life ends and you lie down with your ancestors, I will raise up after you your descendant, the one who will be born of you, and I will establish his kingdom. He will build a house in honour of my name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom for ever. I will be a father to him and he will be a son to me.

Why have so many people followed the weddings of princes and princesses in recent years? Above all, it's for the spectacle.

Some may have watched to pick up a few ideas for their own wedding - what if I had the same hairstyle as Meghan.

And then there are those who like to see a tradition continue.

All in all, there wasn't much at stake for the average person. A beautiful day, a beautiful spectacle. That's all there was to it.

In the old days, a king's wedding was more important. It meant that the monarchy would continue and that the future would be stable.

But for God's people the stakes were even higher, because God's commitment to prosper, protect and care for his people forever rested on this promise of a royal line from David.

God's purpose in making this promise was to say: OK, you people can't take care of yourselves. You're too weak and too disobedient. But I'm going to give David a royal offspring who will do for you what you can't do on your own.

From now on, all your hopes will depend on this king.

For this royal line to continue, David's sons had to marry and have children.

That's why the psalmist rejoices at the end of his song. Let's go back to Psalm 45 and verse 17.

He says to the king:

"Your children will take the place of your fathers, you shall make them princes over all the land."

All this means that the marriage celebrated in this psalm was good news not just for the couple but for everyone!

These days, it's quite rare to have public events where everyone places their hopes in a few individuals.

We've become cynical about politics. The exception is undoubtedly sport.

Last year, the French people pinned their hopes on a handful of footballers chosen by Didier Deschamps.

This summer, some are pinning their hopes on a few rugby players chosen by Fabien Galthié for the World Cup.

It's a small thing. No life or death stakes normally.

This royal wedding was an event with colossal stakes for all the people ... because it was the fulfilment of God's promise to prosper, protect and care for his people forever.

Everyone's hopes were pinned on this royal wedding because everyone's hopes were pinned on David's descendants.

It was and is God's plan to bless his people through the marriage of their king. So ... the bride and groom. What do we learn about them?

Second point. This Psalm presents a

An ideal bridegroom

The king who marries is described as perfect in every way. First of all, it talks about

His beauty

Verse 3

You are the handsomest of men,

I'm not going to risk naming the stars who would be considered BGs (beaux gosses) by the ladies here. You can tell me later.

The king of Psalm 45 would overshadow them all.

More followers on Instagram than Cristiano Ronaldo and Justin Bieber combined.

His beauty also extends to his character.

Grace flows from your lips;

Never a hurtful word. Never a dishonest promise. Never flattering words to manipulate. Purity, integrity and tenderness in every respect.

But in addition to its beauty, this psalm celebrates...

His majesty

Verse 4

"Valiant warrior, put your sword at your side,

a sign of your greatness and majesty,

yes, your majesty! Be victorious, mount your chariot, defend truth, gentleness and justice, and let your right hand show itself in marvellous exploits!

Your arrows are sharp,

peoples shall fall under you

they will strike at the heart of the king's enemies."

Today, the image of the white knight who comes to the rescue of the widow, the orphan and the damsel in distress may seem a little outdated. Even Disney has left it behind.

But triumphing over evil, fighting for justice and protecting the people are fundamental elements in the job description of God's chosen king.

Think of David. The king his descendants were supposed to emulate.

He wasn't just a BG - handsome. He was a BG - good warrior (bon guerrier)!

He killed Goliath. He established peace by defeating the enemies of God's people.

He was a majestic warrior.

Just in case you were worried that the king in this psalm was an example of toxic masculinity - a violent tyrant - look again at the causes he fights for.

Verse 5

uphold truth, gentleness and justice

He triumphs majestically ... for gentleness

All this means that he will be a husband who lives up to all expectations!

Strong, capable of defending his people and perhaps above all his own.

He's no slouch, but he's no bully either.

What drives him is not the pursuit of selfish gain, but the values that count in God's eyes. Truth, gentleness and justice.

No chance of his wife waking up one day wondering 'who the hell is this man I married? No chance of disappointment.

He exceeds all expectations of a husband.

A husband who stands out for his beauty, his majesty and ... this is where it gets weird ...

His divinity?

Look at verse 7. Who is this verse about?

Your throne, O God, is eternal.

The sceptre of your kingdom is a sceptre of justice. You love justice and hate wickedness;

If we only read up to this point, we get the impression that the psalmist stops talking about the king and turns to God.

Your throne, O God, is eternal.

But look at the rest of verse 8

Therefore, O God, your God has anointed you king

He addresses the king as if he were God!

O God, your God ... has made you king

The kings of the Old Testament were important people. They had to reign in God's name and under God's authority.

They were not God in person.

They were normal men, sometimes with qualities, often with great flaws.

It's as if at this point in the psalm, the psalmist lifts his eyes to look beyond Solomon's marriage to ... the ideal ... anticipated by that marriage.

Some marriages have this effect.

When Prince William and Kate got married, the phrase that kept cropping up in the media was "fairytale wedding".

A prince, a princess, a palace, a carriage - it was a fairytale.

As if their marriage conjured up an ideal ... of what we would like a marriage to be.

I didn't spend much time with Prince William. He undoubtedly has his qualities. Basically, he's a normal man.

But on the day of his wedding, the media presented him as Prince Charming - distinguished, noble, gallant, handsome and so on.

Behind the marriage between a normal man and a normal woman, there was this dream of an ideal marriage with an ... ideal husband.

Something similar happens in this psalm.

It says that the ideal husband, anticipated by Solomon, is a ... divine husband.

A husband who is God.

Except that this isn't a fairy tale. This is reality.

Behind David the father's plan to give a wife to his son, Solomon, the Bible speaks of God the father's plan to give a wife to his son, Jesus.

In fact, the whole story of the Bible is the story of an arranged marriage between the ideal husband, Jesus, and a bride.

Let's jump ahead to the New Testament and the letter to the Hebrews. Hebrews 1:8

But God said to the Son (to Jesus): Your throne, O God, is eternal. The sceptre of your kingdom is a sceptre of justice. You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; that is why, O God, your God has anointed you king over all your companions with the oil of gladness.

The ideal bridegroom anticipated by this psalm ... is the Son of God. He is Jesus. ***

If you're like me, you may find the idea of Jesus as a husband surprising.

Jesus as saviour, okay.

Jesus as a friend, okay.

But Jesus as a husband...?

Jesus remained celibate throughout his life on earth.

As God, he's not afraid of intimacy, he's relational by nature, but he doesn't need a wife to be relational!

He has always lived in relationship with his Father and the Holy Spirit. It's not as if he's lacking something.

To say that Jesus is the ideal spouse is to say that his goodness and love are so enormous that they go beyond the Trinity to human beings.

God did not create humanity in a cold way or as some kind of biological experiment - let's put some mammals on the earth and see what happens!

No! In creating humanity, God was looking for a bride to whom the beauty and majesty of his son would overflow and who would come to recognise Jesus as ... the ideal bridegroom.

As we all know, men's image has taken quite a battering in recent years.

The Weinstein affair, balancetonporc, etc. have shown that we men are far from perfect.

Even if our behaviour doesn't go as far as Harvey Weinstein's, if you're like me, our shortcomings mean that we're often disappointing men, fathers and husbands.

Ladies, you may have been disappointed by men. Hurt, perhaps.

There is one man in the universe who will never disappoint.

The ideal husband. Jesus.

Which begs the question. If Jesus is the ideal husband, what do we learn about his wife? A privileged bride

The bride described in this psalm is invited to give herself to her husband, for whom she has made herself radiant.

Perhaps you've already been invited to a dinner party and during the aperitif you take out a big photo album, put it on the table and say: this is our wedding album, take a look at it.

It shows the whole day, from the preparations to the church, the ceremony and finally the dance.

Some people just love looking at these photos!

Then there are... the others.

The unfolding of the wedding day is a bit like what we have in verses 11 to 16, with a special focus on the bride.

First, in verse 11, we imagine her waking up on the big day and remembering the invitation before her.

The invitation (11-13)

"Listen, my daughter, look and incline your ear, forget your people and your father's house."

If you are married, you may remember the moment when you got up on the wedding day, looked in the mirror and said to yourself: this is it!

My life will never be the same again.

I'm going to give myself body and soul to another person ... for life! Until death do us part.

Am I ready?

But for this bride, there is no reason to hesitate about her choice because - verse 12: "The king desires your beauty.

Since he is your lord, bow down to him!"

She has been chosen ... by the best of husbands.

A husband who loves her.

A husband who desires her.

A husband who deserves her readiness to give herself entirely to him. And so she does.

Verse 14 Preparation (14)

"The king's daughter is resplendent inside the palace, wearing a garment woven of gold."

We're moving on in the photo album to the part some people like best - the photos of the bride's preparation.

You know what I'm talking about. We've got 15 photos of the hairstyle, 15 photos of the dress taken from every conceivable angle, earrings, jewellery, mascara etc.

It's a good thing no one took my photo the morning before my wedding. It wouldn't have been a pretty sight!

Why so much preparation? Because the occasion deserves it.

You can imagine the bridesmaids helping the bride arrange her dress. You imagine her being made up, her hair done, perfumed, prepared... for the moment that awaits her.

A moment of joy

Joy (15-16) Verse 15

"She is presented to the king in her embroidered garments;

Young girls, her companions, are brought after her.

They are ushered in amidst rejoicing and gladness; they enter the king's palace."

The wait is over.

Silence falls over the guests.

The door opens.

All eyes riveted on the procession.

The bride enters... radiant.

The groom, transfixed, has eyes only for her.

The joy.

I remember that unforgettable moment.

But I don't think my wife Anne-Sophie will mind if I say that even this unforgettable moment for me fell short of what this psalm describes.

Finally, let me say what I have implied without explicitly saying so far.

This love song, perhaps composed for Solomon and his wife, was also written for us.

Jesus is the ideal spouse. His privileged bride is us. His church. All those who have put their faith in him.

We are the ones who have accepted his invitation, having been chosen and desired before the foundation of the world, as the letter to the Ephesians says.

Before we even existed ... the King had brought these desires upon us. Then he waited for the day when he would issue this invitation to us:

look and listen,

forget your people and your father's house Since I am your lord, bow down before me.

If we are Christians today, we have accepted the invitation, and since we have accepted this invitation, we have also been prepared.

The apostle Paul says in Ephesians that Jesus gave himself for his bride to lead her to holiness, having cleansed her and washed her with the water of the word, so that she might appear before him glorious, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and blameless.

Christ did not choose us because we were a lovable bride, but to make us a lovable bride.

He has forgiven us, and little by little he is transforming us, and when he returns he will finally make us perfect, and for us that day, when we are presented holy and without blemish before him, will be a day of joy and a feast such as has never been seen before.

Revelation 19 - last reference - two pages before the end in your Bible This is what will happen when Jesus appears.

Revelation 19 verse 7

"Let us be glad and rejoice and give glory to him, for the time of the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. It has been given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and pure." For the fine linen is the righteous works of the saints."

I don't know how you imagine heaven

Angels sitting on clouds playing harps - that kind of sappy image! No, it starts with a wedding. Our royal wedding to Jesus.

The whole point of this psalm is that we want that wedding.

It's our hope

To be, as a church, married for eternity to the ideal bridegroom.

Again, for some of us, the image may surprise us or make us uncomfortable. Perhaps especially for us men.

What is it? Married to Jesus. How bizarre!

Obviously we need to explain what we mean.

It's the church as a people that's married to Jesus, not each individual.

And ... the image of marriage is an image. Our relationship with Jesus will not be anything like a human marriage. Rest assured gentlemen, you won't literally have to wear a dress.

It's an image ... an image that expresses the joy, love and intimacy that Jesus will share with us forever.

But if this marriage is more than a human marriage, it is no less.

Is it possible that if we struggle with the idea of marriage to Jesus, it's because there are a few blind spots in our relationship with him.

Maybe for the guys in particular, we're interested in theology.

Reciting the 5 points of Calvinism and being good at apologetics, we like that.

Serving in church, okay.

But if you're like me, the idea of a close and joyful relationship with Jesus might be an area that needs some work.

Jesus didn't just save us from hell ... but also for that intimate relationship with him.

***

It's clear that this psalm gives valuable encouragement if you're single and suffering from it. No one who believes in Jesus will miss out on marriage. Not ultimately.

We might miss the human institution that exemplifies it. Not the reality behind it.

I'm not single, so I asked a single friend how this psalm encouraged her.

Her answer: What I love about the Husband King is his blend of glory and strength, justice and humility. Isn't that what we all dream of! There is a call for me (as there is for all of us) to forget my people and my father's house. I understand this as a call to total devotion to the King. When I begin to grieve over my celibacy, it helps me to remember that Jesus has called me to devote myself to him with all my heart and body, which is wonderfully precious and a privilege.

Perhaps some of you are thinking that everything would be better if you were married. Rest assured, you will be.

Jesus has chosen you, desired you, prepared you to belong to him.

If your celibacy is a painful subject, please meditate on this psalm.

For those of us who are married, our marriages go better when we have this marriage with Jesus as our ultimate horizon.

Someone said this in my community group this week.

The prospect of marriage with Jesus does not devalue human marriage; it elevates it.

Our marriages are not to be taken lightly.

We are living something that anticipates ... faintly ... what we will live in eternity.

We should cherish them and live them as means of preparation for the great wedding!

But in fact ... the primary purpose of this psalm is neither to help us with our celibacy, nor to help us with our marriage.

As we saw at the beginning, it is to help us when our soul is downcast within us.

For the early readers of this psalm, when they were discouraged, the prospect of simply being part of the crowd at Solomon's wedding, and seeing God's promise fulfilled, brought balm to a downcast heart.

But if we are Christians, we know that we will not simply be part of the crowd. We have been invited to come to the altar.

As long as we are in this world, as long as we are waiting for the big day, many things can and will discourage us.

There will be times when we ask: Why be downcast, my soul, and groan within me? Maybe you're the one asking that question.

Waiting for marriage is often a painful time.

(Sorry, if you've just got engaged. Congratulations and sorry)

Waiting is hard and it's that hard waiting that we live for as long as we're in this world.

But when we're discouraged or down, the answer is to meditate on this great marriage to come. He has asked for our hand in marriage. He has prepared us for the occasion.

So perhaps the words we need to hear are these

Psalm 45 and verse 12: Look and listen, forget your people and your father's house ... the king desires your beauty.