Vive la différence (between men and women) ! (1 Corinthians 11.2-16)
Some biblical texts contain things that are difficult to understand. Others contain things that may be difficult to accept.
This one has both! So we need to pray …
PRAYER
In 1992, a book was published that became a huge success. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.
Its premise was simple: men and women… are different.
It made people laugh because everyone could relate to it.
Men don’t communicate in the same way. When they do communicate!
Women don’t react in the same way.
Men often think in terms of ‘solutions’.
Women often think in terms of “relationships”.
In short: for a long time, saying that men and women were different was a given.
Today, the issue has become much more sensitive.
Our era is deeply confused on the issue of gender.
Since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, the differences between men and women have gradually been erased.
Today, many consider gender to be fluid and constructed, and believe that equality requires the erasure of differences.
We saw this at the Olympic Games opening ceremony: the prominence given to transgender identities, celebrated as a symbol of progress and liberation.
Paradoxically, just as these differences are disappearing… the war of the sexes is raging.
I recently watched this documentary on… the manosphere! The world of masculinist influencers who advocate the domination and contempt of women.
The result: we are caught between confusion and confrontation.
How should Christians make sense of all this?
Do gender differences still have any meaning?
Do they stem solely from culture, or are they part of God’s plan?
Two thousand years ago, another revolution took place. :-)
In Jesus’ day, Jewish men began the day by thanking God that they were not women.
Women had little place in religious life.
And yet Jesus welcomes them.
He spoke to them.
He taught them.
He honours them.
And when we look at the early Christian churches, we see that women participated fully in the life of the community. In our text, Paul speaks of women who pray and prophesy. They are neither invisible nor sidelined. They participate fully.
Yet men and women still have significant differences.
Hence our question this morning: how should we live as men and women in the church?
Do our differences make a difference?
And if so… what exactly?
Before we look at the text, let’s put it into context: this passage opens a new major section in 1 Corinthians that deals with the conduct of Christian gatherings.
In chapters 11–14 of this letter, the apostle Paul discusses how to use our gifts, how to organise our gatherings, and how to celebrate the Lord’s Supper.
His concern is to show how a fractured humanity can be brought together into one body.
This gathering is so important that … the angels … are watching! I don’t know if you noticed when the text was read. “Because of the angels”. No one is quite sure what that means!
Perhaps … the angels are paying attention to what happens when Christians gather together.
But before talking about gifts or the order of worship, Paul speaks … of the men and women in the church.
As if it all began there.
There are things in this passage that are difficult to understand, but that doesn’t stop us from grasping the central idea: God created men and women differently, and we should celebrate those differences.
Three points this morning
Let’s not lose our heads in our relationships (vv. 2–6)
Let’s not forget our roles since creation (vv. 7–12)
Let’s not turn a blind eye to our differences (vv. 13–16)
Let’s not lose our heads in our relationships (vv. 2–6)
1 Corinthians 11:2. Follow along with me.
“I commend you for remembering me in every way and for holding fast to the instructions I gave you. I want you to know, however, that Christ is the head of every man, the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.”
The first thing to note is that God has established man as the head of woman.
Did you see that in verse 3? The man is the head – or the head, it’s the same word in the original – of the woman
God has entrusted man with a special responsibility.
Perhaps your reaction is to say: what!
The Bible says that men are the head of women! How could it be any more sexist?!?
My wife and I are watching the series The Handmaid’s Tale. Perhaps you’ve seen it or read the novel on which it’s based.
It imagines a world where a revolution has taken place in the name of a return to ‘traditional values’ and a misinterpretation of the Bible. In this world, women are enslaved to men and demonstrate this by covering their hair.
Perhaps this is what we imagine when we hear that the man is the head of the woman.
The subjugation and degradation of women.
Or perhaps the word “head” makes you think of your boss at work! Perhaps that boss is authoritarian!
What does the Bible mean by “head”? We need to look at the context.
Look again at verse 3. We have three statements about heads:
Christ is the head of every man, the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.
Let’s start with the third: God is the head of Christ
God the Father and God the Son are equal from all eternity.
In fact, one of the first major heresies in the church was to say that the Son was inferior to the Father. They are equal.
The Father sends the Son, and the Son obeys him. They remain equal.
Or let us take the beginning of verse 3: Christ is the head of every man.
Jesus is a King who came not to be served but to serve
For him, being head meant serving and sacrificing himself for others.
That does not prevent him from having authority. Jesus says “follow me”, not “I will follow you”. But his authority is exercised through service.
So man and woman are equal, but God entrusts to man a particular responsibility of service and sacrifice.
Note that this male responsibility has nothing to do with competence.
Paul does not say that men are more intelligent, spiritual or capable than women.
Experience often shows the opposite!
No, it is a bit like the captain of a sports team.
The captain is often not the best player on the pitch. For a long time in the French football team, it was the goalkeeper, Hugo Lloris. Not at all the one who took all the credit. The captain’s role is to serve the team: to motivate, to provide direction, to give his all on the pitch, and to take responsibility if the team plays badly.
The parallel is a tenuous one. But being a leader according to the Bible is perhaps a bit like that.
***
The Corinthians were losing sight of these distinctions.
It was common in Corinth, Greece, for women to cover their hair in public to distinguish themselves from men.
In their culture, this was the sign that one was a woman.
But some Christian women were abandoning this custom.
Perhaps because the Christian message affirms gender equality. They no longer saw the need for it.
But Paul replies: it is not because you are equal … that you are identical to men!
And just because you are equal does not mean there is no male authority to be respected.
Hence verses 4 and 5
Any man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonours his head – that is to say, Christ. Any woman, on the other hand, who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonours her own head – the man.
The Corinthians were blurring the differences. The women wanted to dress like men.
But to blur these differences, says Paul, is to dishonour the order established by God.
***
Note that when Paul says that ‘the man is the head of the woman’, he is not speaking only of husbands in relation to their wives.
There are passages that acknowledge husbands’ leadership within the couple.
Here Paul is speaking of men and women in the church in general.
This may shock us. Does he mean that all women must submit to all men all the time?
I don’t think so.
Firstly, this refers specifically to the context of the church. That is to be expected. The church is the body of Christ. It is the showcase of God’s wisdom on earth. It is unique.
Secondly, Paul uses the word ‘head’… not the word ‘submission’.
What he wants is for all men and women in the church to embrace their differences.
In particular, that men take on their responsibility to serve …
…and that women support them in this.
***
All this may be a long way from how we see things.
Perhaps we say to ourselves: men being in charge might not be as awful as I thought … but still!
I’m not convinced yet!
So Paul takes us back to the beginning of the Bible to base what he says on the way God created us.
Second point …
Let’s not forget our roles since creation (vv. 7–12)
The French feminist Simone de Beauvoir asserted in her essay “The Second Sex” that “one is not born a woman, one becomes one.”
In other words, female identity is determined by culture and upbringing, not biology.
Although there is some truth in this – it is culture that dictates that boys should be dressed in blue and girls in pink – the apostle Paul says that there are differences that stem from the way God created us.
Verse 7
A man is not required to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but a woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man; nor was man created for the sake of woman, but woman for the sake of man.
What does that mean? That women are not created in the image of God? That they are inferior to men?
Paul is familiar with the Book of Genesis. He knows that God created men and women in his image, with the same dignity, worth and humanity.
But that is not the point here.
He is not talking about their worth but about their roles!
When he says that man is the glory of God, he is thinking of when God created Adam. God gave him a mission. “Glorify me by cultivating the Garden of Eden to fill the whole earth with my glory”.
But Adam could not fulfil this mission alone.
So God declared: “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Let us not be thrown off balance by the word “helper”. It is not a domestic helper. God is described as “the helper” of his people.
He brings the animals to Adam. None of them meet his need. So God takes one of his ribs, creates Eve, and when Adam sees her… he sings the first love song in history:
“At last, here is one made of the same bone and flesh as I.”
In other words: you are perfect for me!
You are like me, yet different from me.
We are made for each other. Created to serve together!
You are glorious!
Shows like “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” might lead us to believe that men and women have nothing in common.
That’s not true! We are created equal… and gloriously complementary.
Gentlemen, we were created to take the lead for the glory of God… but we cannot do it alone!
Ladies, you are our indispensable partners!
Mind you, Paul isn’t talking about different roles for men and women here.
In the church at Corinth, men and women prayed and prophesied, and Paul rejoiced in this!
They were engaged in the same activities. All were involved in the ministry of the word and prayer. Paul simply wanted them to practise these in a way that reflected their different roles.
I think that’s the meaning of verse 10 – the strangest verse of all.
“That is why, because of the angels, a woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head”
Some think that this “sign of authority”, perhaps a veil or head covering, symbolised a woman’s respect for male authority.
Perhaps… but the text doesn’t say that. Literally it says: “she must have an authority on her head”. (slowly) A symbol, it seems to me… of her own authority… to pray and prophesy, as long as she did so in a way that reflected her femininity.
In other words, a woman does not need to become a man to participate. She has her own dignity that allows her to participate… as a woman.
It’s so different from the professional world. Women have told me that to get ahead in their careers, they had to ‘act like men’ according to a distorted view of masculinity. Crush the competition.
Not in the church!
Men participate as men – as servant-leaders.
Women participate as women – helpers and counterparts.
That might mean a woman will do the same activities as men but in a slightly different way. In a way that encourages male leadership. More on that in a moment.
I am so grateful for the women I have the opportunity to serve with.
I’m thinking of my co-leaders in the co-group, who have often spotted things I would have missed and told me difficult things I needed to hear.
Thank you, Lord, that we are different but complementary!
Before we get into the practical side of things, a quick aside.
Talking about gender and how God created us may strike a nerve with some people.
In a group of this size, it’s not unlikely that some may have sometimes felt they were born in the wrong body.
We’re talking about gender dysphoria.
Having the body of one sex, but the inner feeling of being the other.
I have seen the suffering this causes within my own family. I had an uncle who is now an aunt.
There is so much more to say than we can say right now. If you are facing this suffering,
God loves you, he provides the resources you need, and he did not make a mistake when he created you with the body you have.
I encourage you to talk about it, and this book, Transgender, by Vaughan Roberts, offers a biblical perspective that may help you.
***
So what are we to make of all this?
God created men and women differently, with complementary roles.
How does that work in practice? Should all women wear headscarves next Sunday?
Third point …
Let’s not turn a blind eye to our differences (vv. 13–16)
Our differences are to be celebrated.
Today, this will take a very different form from what it did 2,000 years ago in Corinth.
Verse 13
“Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not nature itself teach you that it is a disgrace for a man to have long hair, whereas it is a glory for a woman to have it, because her hair was given to her as a covering?”
I asked for permission before showing these photos …
Three out of four of the Connexion alumni have had long hair. Thank goodness Eduardo’s here to keep us on the straight and narrow!
I hope these photos show that today, what we do with our hair no longer means the same thing as it did 2,000 years ago.
In Corinth, if you saw a woman in public without a veil or with short hair, you’d instinctively think: she refuses to be a woman.
If you saw a man with long hair, you’d think he was refusing to be a man.
That is not the case today!
Customs have changed.
In fact, even in the Bible, customs evolve. Samson had long hair. Samuel never cut his hair. It was God himself who commanded it.
We naturally know that men and women are different. God created us different. But what that implies for our ‘look’… will vary from one era to another.
Having said that, ladies, if your conscience leads you to choose to cover your hair, do so.
But having studied this passage, I do not believe it is an obligation.
So how should we apply it? Paul wants us to embrace our differences. What does that mean in practice?
There may still be a few clothing choices that this passage rules out.
If I were to stand before you in a dress, it would still be inappropriate today.
Does the application stop there?
(slowly)
I get the impression… that it is above all… a relational dynamic we should be seeking.
A way for men and women to interact… that reflects the principles of this passage.
What are these principles? Let’s summarise them. There are two.
The equality and interdependence of men and women
…and…
Male responsibility with female support
Let’s take the first: “the equality and interdependence of men and women.”
The Church needs both.
We are interdependent, not interchangeable!
A Church made up solely of men would be dreadful. One made up solely of women would be slightly less so, but dreadful all the same!
That is why our community groups, which are at the heart of our church life – if you don’t yet have a group, I encourage you to find one – these groups are mixed!
We pray and prophesy together! Men need to hear women share God’s word. Women need to hear men.
Not that there isn’t room for times just among women or just among men. Sometimes that makes it easier to tackle certain topics.
But it seems to me that these times should remain secondary, and serve the life of the whole church.
The theme of “loving the church” in the women’s and men’s groups is very well chosen. It serves the whole church.
It also means that we benefit from having a male-female pair of leaders in every group. In my group, I am unable to look after people without a co-leader to help me.
And it means there is no place in the church for attitudes of contempt towards the opposite sex. In our Bible studies, there is no place for a contemptuous attitude, for example on the part of a man, towards women who may have studied theology less than we have. The same applies the other way round.
“The equality and interdependence of men and women.”
But also … second principle
Male responsibility with female support
As I said, Paul’s idea is not “men do this, women do that.” Rather, he speaks of a relational dynamic to be aimed for.
Certain activities are reserved for men.
Passages such as 1 Timothy 2:12 lead us to reserve the role of elder for qualified men.
But more often than not, we do the same activities.
As I need to listen to the reflections of my sisters, I asked some female colleagues what it means to them to promote male responsibility.
Debs told me this:
“For me, the key thing is that in the Church, I don’t seek to have the final say.
The elders listen to my opinion — and thankfully, sometimes! — but I want to help them make the best possible decisions.
God has given me a different perspective. I sometimes anticipate certain things differently, particularly regarding how the women in the church will receive certain decisions.
In the Co group, that means letting my co-facilitator take the lead.
And if I have to disagree with him — she says this is very rare, so her co-leader can rest assured — I try to do so gently.”
Another colleague told me:
“When I lead with a man, even one half my age, I want to encourage his leadership, not belittle him.”
These are just some ideas for encouraging male responsibility.
We need to discuss how to do this in practice. The church won’t change overnight. We’ll certainly make mistakes! Let’s be full of grace towards one another!
But talking about male responsibility also means that we men must take on our responsibilities!
We must neither back down like Adam, nor try to be alpha males. We must imitate Jesus, who took the lead… to serve.
This week I carried out a little survey.
The welcome team: twenty-one women, thirteen men.
Children’s worship: 19 women, 6 men
Music: 11 women, 11 men – there’s parity there
I’m not saying this to make the men feel guilty – the multimedia team has more men than women! But I’d like to offer some brotherly encouragement: my brothers, the church needs you!
My sisters, men need your encouragement!
This applies just as much in the church as it does in the family.
It is up to us men to initiate times of Bible study and family prayer.
Not that Mum can never lead, but it is us whom God will hold to account.
I am grateful to my wife for giving me a kick up the backside recently.
In the morning before school, we take five minutes to read the Bible as a family. I’m not a morning person. It would have suited me just fine to let Anne-Sophie take charge of this.
But she said: I think our girls need to see their dad opening the Bible with them in the morning.
So I try to do it. With a coffee first.
***
So, for some of us, this passage may stir up wounds linked to experiences we’ve had in the Church or within our families.
Some of you may have experienced awkwardness in this area.
Take that to Jesus. If you’ve ever felt crushed by the opposite sex, Jesus doesn’t crush anyone.
Perhaps for others, you wouldn’t present yourselves as Christians today and you might say to yourselves: it all seems a bit backward to me! A bit reactionary!
I invite you to look at how Jesus treats women in the Gospels. Revolutionary. In his day as in ours!
***
I recently heard a pastor talking about several teenage girls who have recently started attending his church.
Not from Christian families.
He was delighted to welcome them, but also intrigued.
So he asked them:
“What draws you here? What makes you come?”
They didn’t mention the music.
Not the atmosphere.
Not the preaching.
They said:
“Here, we feel safe.”
Honestly… where do you hear that these days?
The world no longer knows what to make of men and women.
One moment we’re erasing differences.
One moment we mistrust one another.
One moment we’re tearing each other apart.
But Jesus creates something different.
A body, with him at the centre, where no one needs to trample on another to exist.
As a father of three daughters, I pray that they will be surrounded by men who are like Jesus: servant-leaders.
I pray that they will become women who encourage men to be such servant-leaders.
And I pray that our church will know neither a battle of the sexes nor the erasure of differences…
…but the beauty of Christ … at the heart of our relationships.